A funny little email that I recieved... I think it might be true.


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
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8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Dad! My favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
8:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My
favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
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Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt and torment me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while I, on the other hand, am forced to consume dry cereal only. The one thing that keeps me going is the blessed hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs next time.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am truly capable of, and to instill dread and terror in their hearts. They only cooed and repeated "what a good little kitty" I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my "ability to induce allergies." Must learn what this ability is and how to turn it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and possibly snitches as well. The dog is routinely released outdoors and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a complete idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, as he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the small metal room, his safety is assured. For now. But I can wait.

Oh, yes, I can wait....